So I decided I needed to spice up my life a little bit and so I had the brilliant idea to get a fish. I know my fish record is not the greatest. It all started off with the red goldfish my dad got me, cleverly named, reds. Well reds quickly died and my dad being the softy, could not just let it end there, so reds II came along, and so on. Then I got a tank for my 12th birthday, only to have my little brother kill them all by taking them for 'tours' around our house. After that, a very sad dusty fish tank sat in my room for years, with nothing in it. Except one year when Karen was mad at me and threw papers and things all over my room to try and get me in trouble. So at that time it was filled with little papers that said meany on it and I think a shoe? So third times a charm right?
So I get to the pet store and all I am really looking for is an old school fish bowl with a single fish. So I am walking around the fish section waiting to find a selection of bowls, but I see none. So I go to ask the women, um excuse me, do you have an like fish bowls? Uhh no, (with a look of disgust) we don't sell them anymore because it is not a good environment for the fish. I'm extremely disappointed at this point, but I decided to check out my options.
Option number one: Dora the explorer, my first fish tank! Uhh no.
Option number two: Spongebob squarepants, my first fish tank! Uhh even bigger no.
If they had a Finding Nemo tank, I would have been all over that.
Option number three: Humongous, very expensive fish tanks. Tempting but can not really afford this.
My last and only option: A 55 pound fish bowl. Think of a slightly smaller top of a gumball machine. What is the difference you may ask between this and a regular fish bowl? A very strange looking filter thing going right up the middle and a light. Ohh a light, I mean come on what the heck does a fish need a light for?
So I pick up the 55 pound bowl and go check out the fish. Well I can't help but fall in love with a very poor looking, very large, very fat goldfish. He is the only one in his tank because he is so large and the fish on their side of him are all looking at him. He is the fish god I decide.
So I wait for the pet store typical teenager with braces to come over and give me the low down on the fish and my tank. Well he tells me, if you are thinking about getting that tank you would have to have it set up for at least two days. ( I can't help but put this in, so Im currently watching My Girl (The fim, to clear things up for some people ahem, Emily) as I write this and what is she doing, feeding her damn fish, in a fish bowl, that she won at the carnival, how unfair is that! Then again it is the same scene where she finds out that Thomas J died sooo i'll let her off the hook.) So I would not even be allowed to get the fish that day.
'But what fish were you looking for,' Brace face askes
'Well this one, that one,' I point to my little fatty fish god
'Ohhh well with that bowl (huge bowl) you would only be able to get one medium (small really) fish in it because there is not enough oxygen.'
Riiiight.
'What if I was going to get a small one?'
' Well then maybe you could get two or three? '
Whaaaat.
Ludicrous. So I walked out of the pet store with no fish and very low self esteem.
I guess i'll just have to go to Ikea, buy a bowl and go back to get some fish. I'll make sure to add the tank has been set up for three days just to be safe.
Tata for now.
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